Read this and you are a 'Professional Photographer'

Photography for Dummies

I will start by giving you a small introduction about different types of photography which modern day photographers term as "Professional Photography" in social networks. Before getting into the topic, will give you a short overview of Photography before invention of DSLR

Photography - before the invention of DSLR camera.

Nature Photography

          This is the simplest form of photography. You don't even need a DSLR camera. Any instrument which has a camera can be focused into the sky and presto, you're a nature photographer. Take snaps of the horizon, Clouds and few trees and edit it using Instagram. If you are from a coastal region, you have an added advantage. For example, Photographers from Chennai can fill out their 'Nature Photography' album with pictures of the Marina and Broken bridge (Bessy)

Wildlife Photography

          This is little bit more challenging than Nature photography due to limited resources. You can start by clicking street dogs, cats etc and slowly after mastering the art of wild life photography on the streets, you can go to a nearby zoo and try your hand at clicking some actual wild animals inside cages. If you want to be more exploratory and take risks you can go on a vacation to hill station and take snaps of monkeys on the roads. You can also add elephants in temples to the list.

Travel Photography

          Travel Photography can be done when you plan a family trip to your native or college/office tour etc. This includes leaning out of the train/bus window and clicking road side trees while still moving. This produces a blur in the image which can be called as an effect. Once I came across a group of bald heads tagged under Travel Photography with a description "A Trip to Thirumala" which means, you can also convert your pilgrimage to Travel Photography.

Wedding Photography

          Wedding photography can't be done in all seasons. During your relative's/friend's wedding, take along a camera and click pictures of super hot chicks and aunties in the function and create a separate album called Wedding Photography.

Candid Photography

          In candid photography, "edhir veetu aunty, pakathu veetu akka ellarum guninju thuni thovaikardhu ellathayum photo edukuravana ellam chak chak chak nu photo eduthu bluetooth vazhiya polis la pudichu koduthurulam" - By Santhanam

Tips for Photo Editing

--> "Blur" effect can be used all over the picture, except the face. 

--> Change the picture to B&W irrespective of what it is. 

--> Use "Dodge" tool to whiten your skin. (It looks fake though) 

--> Girls can use all the "Word Art" pictures like hearts, star, sparkles etc all over the image.

To become a Professional Photographer in 10 easy steps

Step 1: Create a Facebook page as "YourName Photography"

Step 2: Create a watermark image to add it to your clicks. The watermark need not be attractive, but it should be big enough to spoil the original image.

Step 3: Take photos of whatever stupid ass things you come across.

Step 4: Edit the photos in Photoshop, follow tips given above (this includes adding watermarks at least in 5 different places in an image) or if you are not familiar with Photoshop, there is another kick ass photo editor for dummies - Instagram.

Step 5: Add the edited photos to respective albums in your Facebook page with a poetic description. For example, If you have taken a picture of sunrise/sunset then search Google for "Nature Photography Quotes" and you can always flick a quote.

Step 6: This step is very important for all Wildlife Photographers. You can click pictures of your neighbours dog/cat but depict them by their respective breeds in description and not their names like Jimmy, Puppy etc.

Step 7: After uploading the image tag about 50-100 friends on each picture. This will increase the reach of the photo.

Step 8: Go to chat box and force your friends to LIKE it. Each forced LIKE is an award to your hard work.

Step 9: Participate in all online photography competition where you can copy others ideas to click pictures in future. If you have a huge friend list then you have bright chances of winning the competition.

Step 10: This step is mandatory. You own a DSLR camera? Then you are a cinematographer for an upcoming short film.

Power Star - The Next Superstar?

OM POWER STARAYA NAMAHA

"Kola kolaya mundharika, power star adicha nee katharika"

          If you are a Tamilan, you will surely know this punch dialogue and also the great man behind this. Dr.Srinivasan, a doctor turned actor and soon to be Super Star is now becoming a latest sensation among the college students. Due to a recent out burst of his die hard fans against Neeya Naana Gopinath for trying to bring the serious side of Power Star, he is now taking rounds in online blogging world. This blog post has got nothing to do with the issue. This blog is only to mention few achievements of this great Legend.

POWER STAR WITH A POWER START IN KOLLYWOOD

Chocolate Boy Look 

     Power Star is the only actor to hold the record for having highest number of film offers at any point of time. Here are the list of films he has acted so far,

• Ananda Thollai
• Desiya Nedunchalai
• Indra Sena
• Karungali
• Lathika
• Mannavan
• Moolakkadai Murugan
• Naane Varuven
• Pa. Ra. Pazhanisami
• Poongodi Jannalil
• Suranga Padhai
• Thiruma (A) Thirumanickam...
• Unakkaga Oru Kavithai

And the list goes on and on!

Fan Base

          Power Star has a huge fan following in Tamil Nadu. In a recent Tv show, he humbly admitted that he has around 5,00,000 (5 Lakh) fans and over 10,000 fans in every college of Tamil Nadu and he has proof for his statement. But, according to me he got the facts wrong. He is so humble and polite to mention only a part of his fan battalion. Almost everyone in Tamil Nadu loves him except for few people like Gopinath and few Social Activists.

Fanny Magnet

USP's
           Extravagant Dancing Skills
           Athletic Physique (Thoppa excluded)
           Magnetic Look (Gaandha Paarvai)
           Puppy Dog Smile
           Exotic Hairstyle (Wig)
           Inborn Acting Skills
Hit List        

          Almost every movie he acts is a Super-Dooper hit. All his movies are screened for a minimum of 300 days and its a total paisa vasool for the theater owners because our Power Star himself pays the theatre owners for every show they screen. So far, just one of his movies got released and created a history.
First Movie.
"LATHIKA" - (To know more about this movie search www.imdb.com and unfortunately "No results found" will be showing up)
And this man stands as a living example for "fight against piracy". His movie's link had never been found anywhere online, till his movie has completed a successful run for about 300 odd days. Learn from him, movie makers.
Avatars

Idhu verum sample dhaan. Main picture paakaadha. Thaanga maata!

Behind Screens

• Sponsored "Thanneer Pandhal", "More Pandhal", etc. to people who suffered in summer
• "Self volunteered" sponsorship for all college culturals
• Hundred families live in his shade, but he never gains publicity out of it (He himself mentioned this many times in interviews)
• Discounted treatment to his fans and their families (After seeing his films)
• Gives life to number of bankrupted banner companies and Mahalakshmi Talkies, Porur.
• Serious hard worker, attending Dance, Aerobics, Stunt classes regularly and Gymnastics once in a week
• The most humble celebrity at twitter who re-tweets and replies to almost every tweet from his fan
• Gives a chance to outdated heroines to perform in lead roles

Last but not least..

• Ambitious human, who believes Super Star Rajnikanth is his only competitor

          Number of achievements, masses of fans, collection of hit movies. Yet, you cannot even find a single piece of information about him in Wikipedia or anywhere online. That simple this great man is!
(Just after we mentioned about his simplicity and not publishing details in Wikipedia. One of his crazy fans has posted his details in wiki, here is the link to it  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Powerstar_Srinivasan)

P.S. We've collected all possible information about this great man to the maximum extent. If we'd left out any info, please to share it in comments so that every Powerstar veriyan will get to know more about their role model. Jai Powerstar!

Every Birth Has A Reason

Mother - The only visible Almighty

I was walking on the roadside, of a misty dawn
Suddenly was dragged by a flash of a sight
That froze my blood, gushing through my veins
I had no other go, I had to stop.

It was a pregnant lamb, growling out of agony
I guessed it to be a post-coming death due to pain
But it was the beginning of a new episode
That would make the mother sound and pride.

Yes, it was a heart breezing site of a delivery
Of a new generation that was about to sprout
Through the gestation for quite a long period
And perseverance of a soul that always loves.

The Lamb would have been in pressure and pain
But it tolerated every sense of frustration and fear
At last she is a mother then, one of the best
Undoubtedly every mother is the best of her kind.

I never know how the kid would sustain this world
But am sure about a thing, that it has a mom
Even if the world opposes, she’ll bring up her kid
Every kid’s birth has a reason, that to make it’s mother proud.

All is Well for the Whistlers!

Cup'u mela kaiya vecha. . . 
Thakali kondae puduvaen! 

Aadra Bravo Aadra!

So, the buzz all around the country is not about Petrol price hike or BJP's national meet up or drafting Jan Lokpal. It is all about IPL and the controversies. Oh yeah! India's favorite game was Cricket, it is and it always will be. Especially, Indian Premiere League. Even a farmer's son or a fisherman's daughter at some nook countryside now happily watches Cricket. They don't complain about those classic shots of Dravid and Laxman, without scoring a run even after a couple of spells in Test matches, which they feel as "so boring". We can't blame those kids. With those minimal knowledge about cricket and it's classics, obviously the great Dravid, himself is the poorest hitter of the ball FOR THEM. But IPL?! Arey! It gives the maximum entertainment to them. They can see sixes flying to every possible corner of the stadium. That's what they want. That's plain justice, after all!

There's a talk about how IPL brings in separation among the regional residents of the country. It happens. Manchester has two clubs and respective fans with ever burning rivalry. But when it comes to FIFA World Cup, everyone prays for England. That is the rule of sports and faith. When there comes a national cricket match, it is obvious these people gonna love and support their most hated guy of that year's IPL season, when he wins a match for India. This is natural. And also, the intake of those foreign lads, will surely help our youngsters to get maximum exposure and experience. Take it.

Okay! Now coming to the heroes of IPL. Ah! Everyone knows who they are. "Idhu Chennai.. Chennai.. Super Kings" is their anthem. "WhistlePodu" is their enchanting spell. And their one and only motto is "Giving the ultimate fun to people, who pay to watch them playing". That is the moral and spirit of sports. And these guys are the best in them. So, what makes them the "Heroes of IPL"? Why do they always win? What makes them keep going? We'll take a quick ride into their game-book.

They never care whether they win the toss or not. Because they have Openers, Middle Order Batsmen, Tail-enders, Sloggers, Pacers, Medium Pacers, Slow bowlers, Off Spinners, Leg Spinners, Carrom bowlers, Keeper, anytime/anyplace fielders. Oh wait! That's what a team can get. But these men got all this in their every playing squad. Gosh!

Hussey or Plessis opens up with Vijay. They show some fireworks. The opposition fears and trembles. Now, even if someone gets out, Raina comes in. He's one of the best hitter in this format of the game. So, again the opposition gets shaken. Okay! After a great hardwork, they remove him too(Remember? Still one of the openers is still on). Now, there comes a man who shakes the whole stadium. Even without Indian Air Force's permission, he often flies Helicopter in Indian Air Space. A bit atrocious towards the opposition, but always adorable and cool-headed with the team and the fans. Now, someone loses their wicket. Three gone! Wait. Why fear, when Badrinath is there? That man anchors himself on one side of the pitch. By now, some 10 overs would have been over.

Let us presume that again a wicket falls. This Caribbean Bravo comes in. And plays such that we get confused whether we are chanting his name or appreciating him. Hail their parents, who named him. Bravo! Assuming another wicket falls, this machine from some Africa comes in. That's all! By this time the bowlers were atleast trying to contain the batsmen. From now, its a myth. A movie dialogue "Eppadi potaalum adikiraan da" will run inside all Tamil fans cheering around. By this time, 17-18 overs would have been bowled. Now, if a wicket falls, the other team thinks everything is over. Ah! Jadeja comes in. This is a dangerous man. He plays seldom, but on his day, he is the master. Even if he gets out, the local darling Ashwin hits boundaries and sixes. Wait! That's 9 of them. So CSK has nine batsmen, huh?! Holy!

Now they come to bowl. Hilfenhaus or Bollinger takes the ball, By that time itself, the batsman would have got butterflies in his stomach. As presumed, wickets will fall. Albie will rout some sticks in the next over. This goes. Bravo joins in the attack with that natural Caribbean hotness. Wait! Take three steps back. No! This isn't a fast bowler. This is just a spinner, Ashwin! Bowling the very first over. Has the captain gone mad?! On what note, does he ask a spinner to bowl the first over when a world class opener is striking? During all our silly doubts and chaos, a wicket falls like a plum! The local boy would have stroke!  That is the power of the captain and his boys.

Jakati or Yo Mahesh are the other locals, who kill few wickets, while those foreign lads send the batsmen, back to their dressing room every now and then. Between this, Raina, Jadeja, and everyone in the team bowls at different matches. So how many bowlers do you have? Oh! And asusual, irrespective of whether this CSK bats or bowls, they almost take the match to the last ball, just to make the BP raise, Pulse get heavier and beating, we forget to breathe, sweat glands secrete and atlast they present a visual treat, that their Captain rout a stick and walk towards pavilion, looking high with pride. This is what CSK is all about. Just Winning.

Amidst all those Match Fixing controversies and money washing, something is for sure. Every sensible man knows that a team can't continuously win just by a pre-written script or spot fixing. Even a kid, playing at our street end, will know this fact. The other teams fans will complain, complain and keep on complaining, while this yellow freaks keep on winning the title.

5 times Semi finalists 3 times Finalists 2 times Champions, with that one final remaining will add up to the stats for sure in IPL. 1 time Champion in CLT20. 

So Team Chennai and their fans.. Just #raiseyourhands and kaadhu kizhiyara maari oru #whistlepodu for this all time favorites and roaring Kings of the tournament. They are the best T20 side in the whole cricketing world. No doubts.

P.S. : Those who hate CSK, remember something. It doesn't matter who hates who. It just matters who fcuks who. You are all already fcuked badly, LOSERS!

Machi.. Open The Bottle!

:A Soup Boy Story:

Those flowers never bloomed

   Hand la Glass-u..Glass la Scothch-u..Eyes full aah Tear-u..!!

Heard it somewhere? Yeah! Verses from “Kolaveri – A Soup Boy’s song”

This is an orthodox soup boy story. He’s Sudalai Muthu a.k.a Muthu, my school friend. Now, he is an engineering student. The blanks of his school days were all filled up only by a girl, Jennifer a.k.a Jenny.

This is a typical love story, the Indian cinema usually portrays. Like those heroes. Our hero also followed few things as routine in life.

His daily routines were as follows :

Ante Meridian (A.M.)

• 6 : 00 – Wakes up from bed

• 6 : 30 – Washes his bicycle

• 6 : 45 – Stands at her street corner

• 6 : 55 – Gets the newspaper from the newspaper boy and delivers it at her house

• 7 : 00 – Again street corner

• 7 : 30 – Carefully dodges, without being caught by her brother who leaves for                          college

• 8 : 00 – Three laps of ride from this end of the street to the other and back to this end, just to check whether she’s out. Amidst that, dodging from her father, who then leaves to his office

• 8 : 30 – The girl wakes up and comes out to the verandah. Our hero’s target achieved. He goes back home to get dressed up

• 9 : 00 – Standing on the way to their school, so to see her coming in her bicycle

• 9 : 25 – She comes with that green ribbon, pink bag, red nail polish, riding on her Ladybird. Our hero smiles as if he’d been given Four Oscars, two in each hand

• 9 : 30 – Rushes to the cycle stand, parks his bicycle and runs to his classroom, however after the long bell

• 11 : 00 – Short Break. Walks in front of her class atleast 10 X 2 times in that 5 minutes

• 11 : 10 – Rushes back to his class, remembering that he hasn’t completed his homework that has to be submitted after the break

• 11 : 15 – Getting caught by his teacher and stands outside the class as a punishment (Even during which, he tries damn hard to get a view of her silhouette from her class that is quarter a mile away from his’

Prime Meridian (P.M.)

• 12 : 30 – Lunch break. Offering his lunch to his classmates and utilizing that time to stand or walk in front of her class besides writing that left out homework and getting it corrected from the same teacher, who is now in Madhu’s classroom

• 3 : 50 – After the long evening bell, running out from the class as the first one, picking up his bicycle and standing in front of school gate (All in Godspeed)

• 4 : 15 – She comes that way with her bicycle and those three regular friends, after all that girly gossips and chats

• 4 : 30 – Riding faster than Lance Armstrong (7 times Tour de’ France champ) and reaching that same street corner before she arrives

• 4 : 35 – She crosses him with a weird look on her face, as if he’s some chain snatcher

• 5 : 30 – Standing in front of a shop that is adjacent to her tuition center

• 5 : 35 – She crosses him again with that weird look

• 8 : 00 – Standing at the same shop front to see her leaving from tuition

• 9 : 00 – Goes back home. Quenches his hunger with those dried idlies that were made 2 hours back. Goes to bed, hearing latest love songs, especially the sad ones

So, this was becoming a routine for two years. After those two long years of wait and desperation, one fine day he gained all courage to go, stand in front of her with all the guts in the world and utter those three words to her. He was rehearsing the proposal, like an insane on road. Oh wait! She’s coming..

He went before her, adjusting his shirt buttons and his well done hair style.

Muthu : Jenny! Haai! This is S.K. Sudalai Muthu. Your school boy. I think you know me.

Jenny : What Muthu? (laughing) Ok. Temme. What?

Muthu : I tell you one thing. Two years waiting. Fearing. Don’t know how telling. Now courage came. So, I came. (Unfortunately, Our hero is ultimately poor in English. Even these words, he learnt from that old Anglo-Indian aunty in his next compound, by paying 225 rubees)

Jenny : Hello. Can you please make it quick? I have lots of work. (Looking him down with contempt)

Muthu : I see you in 6^th std E section. You was so very beautiful. I start to see you there. Daily came to your street, house and tuition. Daily you come in my dreams. When I see you, Ilaiyaraja music going in heart and A R Rahman music running in ears. I don’t know how telling you.. (He stammers)

Jenny : So?                                               

Muthu : I……………. Love You. (Atlast, he said)

Jenny : Huh! What? What do you think of yourself? A hero? You can’t even propose properly. You are a waste. You think I’ll love you? Just get lost. Okay? (She just blasted him out. Thank God, he never understood anything)

Muthu : Sorrynga! Thamizh la solreengala? (Sorry. Can you please say that in Tamil?

Jenny : Get lost. (Saying this she started walking away from him)

Her phone rang. She attended the call and spoke “Machi. Sorry dee. Inga oru loosu en time ah waste panniruchi. Iru vandhudaren” (Buddy. Sorry. Here, a nut wasted my time. Wait for me)

Muthu : (Mindvoice) Adipaavi! Nalla dhaana Tamizh pesaraa?! (Holy! She’s speaking well in Tamil!)

From then, our hero waited desperately in her way many times but she never turned towards him at all. Our hero didn’t have the courage to again approach her too. School also got over. She joined IIT – A. He joined some local engineering college in Chennai. He never saw her again. But even now, he remembers her and often speaks about her. He became a part time poet too. The subject of his poems is always the same. You-know-who!

She’ll be living somewhere, eating Pani Puri or Chukka Roti and dating some nerd with power-glasses like goggles, hairstyle like noodles and a rolling tongue that spits only English. That nerd can never match this idiot, who loved her deep from every organ of his’. She’s really unlucky to have missed him. Now, she will be living just as yet another girl in town. But he’d have taken care of her like a princess.

You know? Every year, on her birthday, he buys SARAKKU for old school friends. Today’s also her birthday. We all came to Pondicherry – Sarakku City. Evening party was ultimate. This divine sarakku only made me remember those days, feel for him and narrate this love story in detail.

Every soup boy's story is divine. Every soup boy is Godly. The heroine is always a Loser (of true love) .

P.S : Sarakku was extraordinary. 2 bottle Beer and 1 Half Whisky. Side-dish : Potato chips and Ravi’s Garlic Ooruga (pickle). Epic.

Hutch-u dog

Ei pulla, I am follow you. 

     With the title "Hutch-u dog" (Yes! I am talking about the same PUG that follows a cute little boy in Hutch a.k.a Vodafone advertisement), most of us would have come to an idea that this post will be based on one-side love. Yes, you are right. You people are  geniuses.! 

     Well, if you haven't guessed anything (in other words, you don't give a damn about this title) and have no idea about what this title has got to do with love and thought this post will be yet another crap. Then sorry for the disturbance. 

Read on and know what's this all about. Padikaama poneenga. Kondae puduvaen (If you don't read, i will kill you only) 

     I know! I know! That's too much of a build-up. Matter mokkaya irundha indha ariya kulandhaiyai mannikavum (If this content is boring, please do forgive this little baby)

One-Side Love

Aim:

            To correct a figure and get a permanent place in her heart.

Apparatus Required:

• Car or bike or at least bicycle. Ada adhuvum illana nadandhu po ya (if that and also no na, then walk and go) 
• Latest model phone ( I-phone preferable) 
• Branded / Burma bazaar glass which is 100% original Fake.

Principle:

• The amount of time you spend, going behind a girl is directly proportional to the amount of attraction you gain from her which is totally a myth. 
• The amount of love you think that you have instated in her heart is actually equal to the amount of irritation she gets whenever she sees you or hears your name.

Story: 

           So far it was build-ups to fill the page like in a 16mark question and the actual content of this post starts here. All of this started years back when I was in school. One of my friends came to me with a huge secret and it went on like this...

(The english translation for words in Tamil are enclosed within brackets)

Friend: Machi, yaaru kitayum solladha da. Romba secret. (Dude! Don't ever tell this to anyone. Top secret) 

Me: Solla maataen da. Matter'a sollu. (i won't disclose it, trust me)

Friend: Mother promise? 

Me: Dei. mother promise da. yaru kitayum solla maataen. (Dude! I swear. I won't tell anyone) 

Friend: Machi, na Pooja'va love panraen da. (Dude! Am in love with Pooja)

Me: *Beep* double side'a machi? Treat eppo? (Wtf?! she accepted your proposal? When is the treat?)

Friend: One side dhan da. Innum propose pannala. (I haven't proposed yet)

Me: Machi, one side lov'vum. Tea kada bun'num onnu da. Morachu paathutae irundha yevanavadhu thookitu poiruvan. (Dude! one-side love and tea stall bread are the same. If you keep staring without buying someone will take it away) 

FYI. that was supposed to be a punch dialogue. With a punch being said, you should not do research on it. Just enjoy it.

Friend: Bayama iruku da. Pudikala nu sollita? (I'm scared. What if she rejects me?)

Me: Freeya vidu. Adhan na irukaen la, I will take the incharge of that. (chill! I'm there for you)

Friend: ok! What next?

Me: Ava pinnadiyae po. Enga ponalum vidadha. Nee love panradu avaluku therinja podhum, easy'a correct panniralam. (Follow her wherever she goes. Once she knows that you are behind her then she will surely fall for you)
Once a great philosopher said,

அஞ்சு மணிக்கு அலாரம் வெச்சு, அலாரம் அடிக்கறதுக்கு முன்னாடிஎழுந்து 

அடிக்கற அலாரம் மத்தவங்களுக்கு கேக்காம நிறுத்தி. 

அப்பா பாக்கெட்ல அஞ்சு பத்துனு ஆட்டைய போட்டுட்டு பைக் எடுத்துட்டு போனா, 

பைக் பாதில நிக்கும். சரின்னு பெட்ரோல் பங்குக்கு போயி அர லிட்டர் பெட்ரோல் போடுங்கன்னு சொன்னா அவன் நம்மல அசிங்கமா பார்ப்பான். அந்த அசிங்கதலாம் தாண்டி பஸ் ஸ்டாண்டுக்கு வந்தாஅங்க நம்மல விட பெர்சனாலிட்டியா ஒருத்தன் நிப்பான்! 

அப்படியே பக்குனு இருக்கும். . . . . . .

-திருவிளையாடல் ஆரம்பம்

   

     Saying that, our hero started with his daily life activity of following her like a HUTCH DOG i.e wherever she goes our hero will be following her (except to ladies toilet). The routine will be like, waking up early in the morning, getting ready and wait at her street corner for her to start to school. Following her, at a 10 feet distance like a body guard and after school's over, escorting her back to her place. During holidays he will be with his bicycle, roaming in her street 10-20 times a day just to see her if she comes outside her house by any chance. This routine happened for 2 years and by that time the girl very well knew about his intentions. Not only the girl, but also the whole school including the Principal knew about this and that's when he got suspended for a month.
     Finally after gaining some guts and rehearsing some 3478 times, he finally proposed her. It was not even close to the rehearsals in toilet. After stammering for about 10 mins, he said "I love you". She laughed at his stupidity, which for a moment he thought to be a sign of her acceptance. She said "It took you so long to tell this? Anyways, that doesn't matter. I don't love you. Stop disturbing me and get lost."
     He was heart-broken and decided not to disturb her for few years and get back to her after she finishes her college and at that time she might understand his love. Not even a month was over, she got committed with some other guy. And it became worse when they broke up and in no time she started going out with some other guy. He wasted his precious life for this "homely slut"? (once a wise man said "Ava aalu illa machi, ITEM")
     The biggest mistake I made was to encourage him just because I would get a treat when he corrects her.  I should have warned him saying, "She is not a homely girl, better you can avoid her" and helped him out of it.

     Not all girls are bad and at the same time it is difficult for everyone to find a GOOD girl. Shit happens! It's part of life.
Moral:
          Neither this story nor the girl in it has MORAL.


Editing Courtesy: The_Scribbler and Ted E Bear

How'd the World started and how'll it end?

Who Cares??!!

You are better than those Saamiyars and Scientists!

Well, someone says It's all due to God. Someone else says, Science was the reason and Physics was the setup. While, the other geniuses just don't bother or care about how it all started, rather so curious about "How the hell will I get my tonight's drink? Plainly, I am one of them.

That was a pretty cool and breezy night-storm. The house's terrace was getting filled with chillness and silence. Turning the lid of that small bottle in my hand, with the World famous warrior's name printed on it, I was sitting at a corner, below the dim light with a bottle of "Goli-Soda", Mom's house made "Kaaravatthal", Next house Maami's handmade "Naarthanga-Ooruga", Like a Boss.

Okay. Coming back to that lid, it was tight and fit. Turning it was tough and hard. I was putting in all my expertise and my muscle power, which I was developing with the help of those big "Karlaa-kattai" and "Dumb-bells", the only ancestral property that my grandfather had left for our family. After a tough time, I unscrewed the lid. Felt like, I had unveiled the mystery of mankind itself.

Took out an ever-silver glass, that I'd brought from our kitchen without mom's knowledge. It was empty. That was the point, it all started. The questions in mind, the doubts in heart and that curiosity from the very bottom of my pelvis. The only thing that was striking my mind, on seeing an empty glass was "How'd the world started and how'll it end?" I started to think about it for a long time.

Now, poured an ounce of that divine liquid from that small bottle inside the glass. It was reddish brown and was looking like "Lava". Yes. That was how the world had been, before few million years ago, a hot land with a hot fluid. Well, I smiled to myself thinking of that sentence that flashed my mind, "Earth should have been fucking hot then!"

That thought added oil to the fire. To prevent any further fire accident, I started mixing that Goli-soda and that red liquid became diluted and was looking cool. Wait! This was how the solidification had occured. Rain was the reason. Continuous raining for months and years had cooled that molten lava and helped in formation of rocks and landreliefs.

Between this scientific travel, I did not notice the ant that had fallen inside the glass and was swimming in the mixture of two liquids. When I saw that, I'd thought for a moment, how many millions of microbes would be inside that liquid. That made me realize the fact, the world started with very tiny microbes and single celled organisms which gave rise to naked but tiny primitives like ants and flies. What-the!

After taking out the ant and throwing it away, without any delay or second thoughts, I gulped the mixture and bit the Kaaravatthal and licked that Naarthanga-Ooruga. It was heavenly. But the glass became empty. Okay. This is natural. It should have been some solar accident or a meteoroid stunt that would have ended the World. Who cares? I started filling it up again in the same order. This science class went on for nearly 6-7 rounds and I found the bottle had become empty. By then, I was feeling like flying with a Boeing 747 beside me, on it's course to New York.

Now, this is how a man's life ends. After realization of the world order, and the bottle becoming empty, he has to fly somewhere high to the skies, unseen thereafter. I was becoming enthusiastic and was feeling like a GOD. But that stupid alcohol was inducing my sleep centers and I was swaying right and left and atlast fell dead. Well, technically asleep. In the morning I found myself on my bed, with Mom awakening me with a cup of home-made filter coffee. On sipping it, I realized that, this divine morning with that super coffee was the moment when, my world which ended last night, actually started again.

P.S.  Fcuk those scientists and saamiyaars. My world starts everyday with that sweet cup of coffee and ends everynight with that bitter wine. I am happy. That's it.

Girls (பெண்கள்)

As mentioned earlier, this post is about girls. The topic on "Girls" has been nondi nongu eduthufied (discussed) like a million times by thousands of people and not even a single person has ever come up with  any conclusion regarding this topic. 

Hot Girls (கிளுகிளுப்பான பெண்கள்)

Okay! Now I am gonna divide and analyse the geometry of algebra in the mind set of the girls.

When she is single

             It's easy to find out if a girl is single if she has the following traits

1. She will act like Genelia (Haasini)  in Santhosh Subramaniam (always hyper and jumping here and there)
2. She will always have a boy with her who is Friend-Zoned. 
3. She gives less attention to her make-up. 
4. She will eat anything and everything and never cares about her diet. 
5. She shows attitude with strangers but deep inside the heart she expects people to look at her.
6. When she knows about a guy having crush on her. She wants him to propose her badly and will try hard and make him propose, but chances of accepting his proposal are only 0.01%

When a guy goes behind her

             Every girl secretly wants to be loved but when it happens she will not be ready to accept it. Once again points potu neata alasuvom.

1. The first thing she does will be to increase make-up and maintain proper diet (will turn super hot like the girls in the above pic)
2. She gets close with the boy in the Friend-Zone (he might be expecting something else, but the truth is HE IS BEING USED)
3. She makes new friends just to watch if the guy is coming behind her.
4. Her activity in social networking sites increases exponentially. 
5. She will get a new cat/dog and upload a minimum of 10 to 15 photos per day. 
6. Treat the guy like a Hutch dog and make him follow her everywhere. 

When a girl falls in love

               Now when a girl falls in love (need not be the guy who proposed her) there will be a drastic change in her. Here I will list a few significant points based on experiments by scientists. 

1. The importance to make-up reduces so does the diet. 
2. All the boys she had in the Friend-Zone will be thrown out of her life. 
3. She will remove all her photos from Facebook and have a pic of a baby or a flower as Display picture and it will be impossible to find her online.
4. The dog/cat which she bought during the previous phase would now be replaced by her lover.
5. She will pour too much of love on the guy and make him drown. At a extreme level, the love turns out to be torture.
6. She limits her friend circle and never gets close with a girl hotter than her. 

I can go on and on but the topic will go endless. I want this post to be small and readable. So the other factors will be discussed later in future topics.

P.S. Not all girls are like this. Some are worse. 

Yet another blog'R

                     Let me start with some questions you would have in your mind, because I have the same questions whenever I start reading a new blog. This post is just to confuse you and make you stay longer under that pretext. After reading this post you will get an idea whether to continue reading or carry on with your important work in Facebook/Twitter.

Yet Another Blog

Who am I? 

I am just another stranger you pass by in your daily life.I am the kind of guy you come across in the metro station, vegetable shop, porn movie, shopping mall etc. (Shit! I just mentioned that I am a GUY, gonna lose some viewers). I am more like YOU (Unnai Pol Oruvan). I don't feel like revealing my true identity as of now. Later if I continue writing and if this blog gets some decent response I will slowly reveal it(more like strip-tease). So, here I am writing this blog and its upto you to read it or not.

What am I gonna write? 

Nothing big, or important. Just some daily instances which we all come across, or I still haven't decided yet. Once I start writing, I might get some ideas and I will let you know as it comes. Sure'a mokka matters dhan. The posts in this blog will be mostly in English and in middle middle some Butler English mixed with Tamil.

Why did i start this blog?

I was vetti to the core and didn't have anything else to do. So I started reading blogs and got inspired by them (I will write about those blogs in forth coming posts) and just like that, Boom!! WHY NOT ME? I can  also mokka potufy. Na podra mokkaya yum padika makkal vara maatangala enna? varuveenga la? 

Why should you read this blog?

If you want to gain knowledge about day to day happenings in politics, science, astronomy, astrology, zoology, physics, chemistry, french etc. this is not the blog for you. As mentioned earlier idhu time pass ku eludhina blog(wrote for time-pass). So, here you are reading it.

Is this blog fun?

Of course it is! Why would I say its not?!
You can leave your comments and opinions about this blog and possibly warn fellow readers.

About next  post. 
The next post will be about GIRLS. Why girls?

Because, nothing else can make this blog mokkier and at the same time attract some viewers. This topic struck my mind when I showed this blog to a girl and she was sweet enough to read the whole crap and she gave me some crappiest idea and talking about her intelligence was one such idea. 

P.S. She was the mastermind behind this blog name "tin tin ta din" (she forced me to add this.)